Loading...
Problems within relationships can be extremely challenging and therefore in Couples Therapy the likelihood of success is typically dependent on the commitment of both partners. I will always strive to assure that sessions feel emotionally safe, and assume a non-blaming stance. My experience indicates that effort put into Couples Therapy, typically pays dividends for both the couple’s and their family’s well-being regardless of any future decisions.
Relationship problems often arise around poor communication of our feelings and needs. This can result in a loss of closeness and intimacy, which can lead to arguing and even infidelity. Differences in priorities can often lead to friction surrounding jobs, parenting, money and spending time together.
Your investment in couples therapy can have significant long term benefits whether you ultimately stay together or not. Relationships can become more amicable, reducing confrontation and vitriol which can be both emotionally and financially draining. Where children are involved, these benefits can manifest throughout the children’s various life events, including e.g. birthdays, graduation, marriage and even the arrival of grandchildren.
With respect to Couples Work, I have found there are key issues to be considered before contacting me with respect to working together. I am mentioning these because I consider them to be fundamental.
A primary consideration is whether both members of the ‘couple’ are committed to attempting to making things better and to staying together. If one of you is unsure whether you really want this relationship, then individual work may be better. I mention this because some couples try to start couples work before they know what they want. I am interested in working with clients who at the right point and are both committed to improving their relationship.
Are you both prepared to take responsibility for your involvement in this relationship? If one of you feels everything is wholly your partner’s fault then it may not be the time to start this kind of work. I am happy to work with whatever feelings you both may have, but if punishment is driving you then individual therapy may be more useful.
Couples work necessitates you coming to sessions regularly, typically fortnightly or weekly. If you expect a magic ‘fix’ in one or two sessions, then I won’t be able help you. Couples sessions are longer than individual ones and more expensive, I typically offer 75 minute sessions. I would suggest that you reflect on whether you are prepared to invest both time and money into your relationship for example: whether you would be prepared to engaging in a half a year’s work or more, for example, this process may require an investment of £2,000 or more. Some clients would rather spend money on a car or a holiday than their relationship, and that is of course fine.
If you have reached this point and reflected on these key issues, do give me a call! You seem serious about attempting to change things in your relationship and I deeply respect that.
Note: I very much prefer to avoid evening and weekend work, so working together will likely require you to both have flexibility in your diaries.
This testimonial was given after a recent piece of couples work:
‘We’ve been extremely well-served by the ‘space’ Jonathan has created for us, as a couple. A place to really explore the things that would have been too dangerous to root around in, unaided. Jonathan has been brave enough to allow and support us going into some really difficult areas, but also to put the brakes on, when things became too intense. He managed to get a tricky balance, just right, and gave us a sense of (ultimate) safety, in a way that still encouraged us to take risks and really hear what each other was saying. This enabled an uncommon amount of real listening, resolving and learning in that ‘space’, and our relationship has moved on to new, hard to imagine levels because of what Jonathan was able to facilitate. He has a relaxed, easy manner about him and is fair, impartial and even-handed’. (after 25 sessions of Couples work)
Here is another recent couples therapy testimonial:
‘We could not have improved or relationship without Jonathan – now my partner is beside me, rather than opposite me. We share our feelings without risk, whilst feeling safety; we are better able to get what we need from each other’. (after 15 sessions of Couples work)
